The Self Portrait
The last time I checked, it was pretty simple to get a digital photo of yourself. There are cameras everywhere, even on your phone. And as long as you are not a hermit (I am aware they exist), you should be able to find someone to take a photo of you. The Self Portrait comes in many ways. I think the one that troubles me the most is the shirtless photo taken in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. There is a slight variation of this, where the culprit remains clothed. Another option is the inconspicuous pose, or even the inconspicuous webcam shot. In these, it is often the side profile used so it looks as if the camera was giving them directions; “strike a pose”, “the camera loves you”…. Whatever the crime, there is simply no excuse to post a picture that has more of your arm aiming the camera than your face.
The last time I checked, it was pretty simple to get a digital photo of yourself. There are cameras everywhere, even on your phone. And as long as you are not a hermit (I am aware they exist), you should be able to find someone to take a photo of you. The Self Portrait comes in many ways. I think the one that troubles me the most is the shirtless photo taken in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. There is a slight variation of this, where the culprit remains clothed. Another option is the inconspicuous pose, or even the inconspicuous webcam shot. In these, it is often the side profile used so it looks as if the camera was giving them directions; “strike a pose”, “the camera loves you”…. Whatever the crime, there is simply no excuse to post a picture that has more of your arm aiming the camera than your face.
The Random Lady Friend
I have a feeling that some guys think that we want them more if they are with another woman. This may work on your average 23 year old bar star, but for the majority of us searching for a meaningful relationship, it is a big red flag. It doesn’t matter if it is your sister, best friend, ex wife, we don’t care. And even if it is your sister, we are probably comparing ourselves to her anyway. I think the worst part about the random lady friend showing up in online profile pictures, is that you never really know who it is. You find yourself guessing and then moving on. After all, sometimes a guy’s sisters can be scarier than his ex’s!
I have a feeling that some guys think that we want them more if they are with another woman. This may work on your average 23 year old bar star, but for the majority of us searching for a meaningful relationship, it is a big red flag. It doesn’t matter if it is your sister, best friend, ex wife, we don’t care. And even if it is your sister, we are probably comparing ourselves to her anyway. I think the worst part about the random lady friend showing up in online profile pictures, is that you never really know who it is. You find yourself guessing and then moving on. After all, sometimes a guy’s sisters can be scarier than his ex’s!
The Small Dog
Most gals I know, love a guy who likes animals. However, we do judge you by the kind of animals you have. I am a dog lover, and I own a fairly big dog. I can take her hiking without worrying a squirrel will carry her away or that she will get attacked by a hawk. So, when I am perusing your pictures and see a dog that belongs in Paris Hilton’s purse, I will probably move on. On a side note, if we meet and you talk to your dog in a really strange voice, that sounds like Scooby Doo, it will probably make me run!
Most gals I know, love a guy who likes animals. However, we do judge you by the kind of animals you have. I am a dog lover, and I own a fairly big dog. I can take her hiking without worrying a squirrel will carry her away or that she will get attacked by a hawk. So, when I am perusing your pictures and see a dog that belongs in Paris Hilton’s purse, I will probably move on. On a side note, if we meet and you talk to your dog in a really strange voice, that sounds like Scooby Doo, it will probably make me run!
The Baby Daddy
You think you look cute and nurturing in the photo with the children. But, your profile says “Ask Me Later” after the question of, “Do you have kids”. So, do I assume it is yours? Play it safe boys, talk about how much you love your nieces and nephews in your profile. Don’t throw in a random picture of you with kids for us to ponder about. In some cases, we don’t care if you have them or you don’t. It is the secrecy of the picture that is annoying. It is an especially odd photo when it comes right after the one where you are taking a tequila shot wearing a Sombrero and hardly any clothes.
Home Décor 101
This is one that most people don’t check. Unless of course you have taken Media Relations Training and you are aware that you need to check your surroundings, before your interview. You can be the cutest guy in Calgary, and if you are in a room and the background looks like a scene from Deliverance, Hostel or Trailer Park Boys- I will judge you. I will assume you live there, or your Mom’s basement and that you still have a decade or more of growing up to do. Most girls understand that the typical bachelor does not live in a home with matching furniture and décor. However, plates with food on them, cupboards from 1955 and flowered wall paper are all cause for concern.Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many guys who have excellent photos that portray them as the guys who wear an amazing suit during the week and climb mountains and run marathons on the weekends. While the guys who take their own pictures, and live in &^%holes are probably closer to the truth, I like to live in a fantasy world!
"Unless of course you have taken Media Relations Training..." awesome!
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