Too funny not to post- actual messages sent to me

Well, I have not been dating much as of late...but I did receive a message that was too funny not to post for all of you to read. 9/10 messages received on dating sites are laughable, but these go one step further. Here is 3 actual messages sent to me tonight: 

I will title this one---Desperate for communication:
"Hi there just sittin on the iPod touch came across your profile and thought I would say hi and see if you wanted to chat further...I myself don't really like to message back and forth on here, I find it hard to get to know someone.but I will if ya don't instant message...if you have a blackberry my bbm pin is at the bottom of my profile feel free to add me.. If no black berry my msn is on my profile as well..you could always add me to messenger and we can chat in real time..or if you are adventurous enough we could always text..get in touch either way and we can go from there..."

And this one shall be called--- I have no words to describe this idiot:
"Um..you say you are not into intimate encounters or sex, Yet...right above that you say you have fun doing anything and are up for anything... Hmmm, kinda reminds me of that Caramilk commercial!!"

Last and not least, this one will be called---What kind of girl responds to this? And if she does, I hope she kicks you in the...:
"I would do anything to take you for a drink then have you walk on me or kick me. Interested?"
A short but oh so sweet post.
Happy Monday Friends!

"Yes Men can realy cook"...Bad spellers and first date no no's!

"Yes Men can realy cook" was the heading on someones profile. I wanted to write him back and say, "That may be true, but you can't spell...which is probably more of an issue for me". We all have our pet peeves I suppose. I can let it slide if you can tell it is a a quick error, because we are all used to spell check. But "really" should be a simple word for a 32 year old. Once again, this isn't even what I wanted to talk about!

So, let's move onto the more entertaining topic, my latest date. This guy chose subject matter that I would only think about maybe bringing up on date 5, 6, 7 or later....10 mins after I met the guy, he says, "So, when was your last relationship?". Really?? Or should I say "realy"?? Can't we talk about work, golfing, our weekends ahead, anything but that? What good can possibly come from talking about this on the first meeting? It is an absolute given that one of the two people with divulge too much from their past causing the other person to feel like a Jr High Guidance Counsellor. In this case that was me. Maybe it is a good thing? You can really see what kind of emotional head space someone is in?! Case in point- he went on for 300, I mean 30 mins or so about how is has been in LOVE 4 times in his life..blah blah blah......I felt like saying, "I would LOVE for you to shut up"...instead I drank my 140 degree tea as fast as I could and claimed I had to go let the dog out.

As I drove home, I started to think about my first date expectations (which by the way are sadly low right now). Here is my list of things that should not be talked about on a first date:

• When your last relationship was
• How many long term relationships you have had
• How many of any type of relationships you have had
• Anything to do with bedroom talk (I am being PG)
• How many cats you have (especially if it is more than 1)
• What your ex looked like
• What my ex looked like
• Why neither of us are married
• Why you are more awesome than anyone else on the planet
• Why you hate your job
• Why we should probably just back to your place (yes this has happened)
• Why you hate online dating (trust me, we all do...admitting it doesn't make it better or easier!)

So, what are your big no no's for first date chat topics? My co-worker shared this Calgary Radio Personality's blog with me, I agree with the entire list. He goes a little further and calls it something about being Undateable. I won't go that far, but he is bang on!
http://calgary.virginradio.ca/blog/adam/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10290735

Frog, Frog, Frog, Prince?!

It has been two weeks since my last post. In this time I have gone on zero dates. However, I did spend a week in Whistler/Vancouver, and have decided that there are many beautiful men out there- at least in the province over. Maybe it is the same as hair. My hair is straight, so I think curly hair is ideal. I live in Alberta, so BC men are cuter? My cousin in Van will back me up. She confessed to visiting Calgary with her husband and observing that Calgary has a lot of pretty girls hanging with "douche bag" guys. This of course has nothing to do with what I was going to post, but an observation that my many female friends will probably agree with! As I imagine the "typical" Calgary guy she probably saw, I see a Tap Out UFC t-shirt, expensive jeans, spiked hair and an ego bigger than the wheels on his truck. Or perhaps the well dressed, well educated 37 year old who has decided that being single is far better than being less selfish. She may have run into the unfortunately shorter than most women guy, who also owns 3 cats and thinks it is OK to wear Kirkland jeans. Frog, Frog, Frog....Prince! So, the reality is, I live in Alberta. And, now that I have talked about all the frogs out there, I will present to you my most recent list of what I want in a man- the Prince List. To all my single friends (all 2 or 3 of you), you should update yours too! Send it out into the Universe (or the Internet at the very least) and know that for all the Frogs you have dated, somewhere out there, your perfect prince awaits. I can't promise immediate results, you may just meet a few more frogs to test your humour first.
Megan's Prince List (in no particular order)- I am ready for a man who:

• knows the importance of family
• has a great group of supportive friends
• is taller than me
• loves animals
• likes his job
• has ambition
• has a hobby that he is passionate about
• has had his heart broken
• wants marriage
• wants a family
• believes love is a choice
• is spiritual if not religious
• loves to travel
• is a good listener
• is selfless and thoughtful
• has a sarcastic sense of humour
• adores me
• is active
• is not afraid to put work into a relationship
• takes accountability for his choices
• shows appreciation and positivity for everything

Bring it on! Now- come on ladies and gents. Make your own list if you haven't already. Or, make a list about other things in life. "Before having kids I want to...", "In my career, I want to". Consider it a virtual dream board. Speaking of which...I should probably add a Prince to that too.