Ok, maybe not "cure" it. But, I can certainly look back at the last 10 months and give you some insight into how to at the very least, survive without medication! Some of my tips are not profound, but I can assure you that they work!
1) Be careful of the company you keep
I can't stress this enough. You will be just as surprised by the people who are there for you, as the people who are suddenly not. Surround yourself with people who want to help you focus on an amazing future, not the ones who want to ask you about the past. I had a family member start crying and say to me, "I thought he was the one". In my head I felt like saying, "No S&^%. You and everyone else but him". But, you will realize that not everyone knows how to be there for you. And that doesn't make them bad people, just not the right people to spend your fragile and sometimes irrational moments with! As you start to slowly heal, you will realize that some people just don't have a place in your life anymore and that is ok. After all, you have grown from the experience, and are likely more awesome now! I have a friend who said to me (as I was complaining about some of those that were MIA through everything), "Show me your friends, and I will show you your future". Once you have had time to heal, look around and make sure that the people around you are as awesome as you!
2) Remember life before Voldemort
We call him Voldemort (from Harry Potter) because for those of you who have seen the movies or read the books will remember that Voldemort is often referred to as"he who shall not be named". You had a life before your now ex. And I am willing to bet it was pretty great. But, we are all guilty of letting a loved one replace things we used to do for ourselves. Take advantage of this new found independence and let it be about you. Before my ex, I spent a lot of time on personal development. I also read more, went to the gym more and watched more chick flicks. All of these things make me happy, and getting back into these hobbies, will make you feel good. I promise! And, if like me, you find yourself growing tired of your own depressing company after a while, put your energy into making others feel good. A month after the break up I volunteered at the local Soup Kitchen, feeding the homeless. It was heart warming and reminded me that my heart would heal, but at least I had food and a roof over my head. If volunteering isn't for you, surprise a friend with lunch. The more joy you give, the more you get back, so in times of heart ache, it is important to remember to give joy when you need it most.
3) Make a change!
Now, I am not telling you to sell your house and move to Bali, although I know that is exactly what most people want to do after something like this happens. Once you start to feel stable again, think about something you want to change and do it. For me, it was materialistic but important. My ex was "frugal" aka CHEAP. He informed me when we were together that I would be driving my current car until it died. This was after I announced that I was going to by a new car (with my finances). So, when we broke up, I did just that- bought the new car! I found comfort in knowing that he didn't know that I had it. I had done it on my own and it was a part of my new life without him. If everything stays the same, you may as well still be with the jerk. So, change it up! New hair? Lose weight? Buy a house? Get that dog you always wanted but he was allergic? Start a new career? The world is your oyster!! That is one great thing about being single. The decisions are yours and yours only. So just do it!
4) Date
Not right away. Nobody wants to date an emotional mess. And, especially if you want to try online dating, if you are not comfortable in your own skin, it can be an awful experience and send you even further down. However, once you you can go a full day without crying when someone speaks his name, you should try dating. Not "rebounding" and jumping into bed with the first person who compliments you, but dating. Take it slow. Go on dates and have no expectations. Treat each date as part of your journey towards meeting someone awesome. Learn things about yourself, and what you look for. I was shocked to see how different what I look for in a potential mate is as opposed to when I dated pre-Voldemort. Besides, getting dressed up and going out with a loser, is way better than sitting in your jammies and drinking a bottle of wine on a Friday night! Although I do encourage a few nights like that as well!
5) CRY!!! ( and read and talk)..and CRY!!!!
Bring on the water works people! I remember one day when I thought there couldn't possibly be any more tears left. I cried for 4 more hours after that and then got sick to my stomach! haha Your body cries for a reason. Let it! If you are still crying daily after a month, I would suggest seeking help- which I will bring up in a minute, but the first month is a rough one. So hit Costco and pick up 12 boxes of Kleenex and let it go! It is such an important part of healing. The people I know who don't let themselves do this (after all, crying is apparently a sign of weakness??) are still dealing with their trunk full of baggage years later and dumping it all on their next partner. Crying proves we are human. And it feels damn good afterwards. Another thing that helped me was hitting the self help section at Chapters. You will be surprised how many people are in that aisle when you start to frequent it! Pick up the classics that are well marketed, like, "It is called a break up because it is Broken". And then pick up other books that speak to you. In case you want a few recommendations, the end of this blog post will be a list of tools that got me through the mess. This included taking advantage of the few free counselling sessions through my work benefits plans. A good "counsellor" will give you some techniques to change your mindset and get out of the negative thinking. This is a perfect segway...
6) Turn Off the Tape Recorder
We all have negative thoughts once in a while. But, I challenge you to write them all down for a week. I did this as part of my counselling. I was embarrassed when I read what I had been telling myself over and over. "I will never get married", "No one will ever love me enough to want to stay with me forever", "I am fat and ugly", "I am a failure". Never mind repeating all the mean thing the ex had said to me in the break up, "I want to get married and have kids just not with you", "Maybe I am just not attracted to you", "We got along well because I am like that with everyone". Ahhhhh why was I letting my precious thoughts be about this garbage? The past is over, so turn off the tape recorder and fill your head with thoughts that will help you move forward!
7) Travel
After having to pay for an unexpected move, and having used up all my holidays to attend Voldemort's sister's wedding in Mexico a few month's earlier, I couldn't afford to take a big trip. That doesn't mean you can't take a small one! I went east to visit family. It is amazing to know that you are in a place where you will NOT run into your ex! And, you also realize that there is a world outside of your bubble, and millions of people who have gotten through the same thing.
8) Grow and Trust
You didn't go through this temporary hell for nothing! So take advantage of it and grow!! We all learn more in times of heartache. This is your chance to be an even better person. Be a better friend, a better family member and a better employee. Learn about yourself and know that this pain was not all for nothing. Trust the process of life and that this is exactly where you are supposed to be. And if all else fails, when you are sobbing uncontrollably and eating your second pint of Ben and Jerry's just keep telling yourself what your mom would say to you, "This too shall pass" and in my case, "There is a lid for every pot".
9) The Tools
No, when I say "tool" I am not referring to your ex! As promised, here is a collection of the things that helped me get through this tough time. I will leave you with this quote taken from one of the websites I am about to give you:
"Eventually all the pieces fall into place...until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason".- Carrie Bradshaw
Best Breakup Books:
"The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart"- Daphne Rose This was my fav in the first few months. She also wrote another great one called, "Coming Apart: Why relationships end and how to live through the ending of yours".
"The Case for Falling in Love"- Mari Ruti
"If he is not the one, who is? What went wrong and what it tales to find Mr Right"- Lisa Steadman
"Getting past your breakup: How to turn a devastating loss into the best thing that ever happened to you"- Susan J. Elliott
"The 5 Love Languages"- Gary Chapman
"The Book of Awesome"- Neil Pasricha
Best Breakup Websites:
www.louisehay.com check out her Daily Affirmations. She also has a lot of great books! Today's affirmation: "Today I am moving into my greater good".
The Daily Love- www.thedailylove.com Sign up for daily emails from Mastin Kipp. Great content!
@thedailylove
www.tut.com Sign up for "Notes from the Universe". I love these emails! Today's email, "With great responsibility, Megan, comes great power. The more you accept the first- for your happiness, unhappiness, and all else- the more you are given the latter. Sounds like a good deal?"
Friday 20 January 2012
Sunday 8 January 2012
"Card Board"- Don't get rid of all those Christmas Cards!
January is always a bitter sweet. We are offered a fresh slate, but the joy and love spread throughout the holiday season seems to come to an abrupt halt. Now, add in a birthday on January 2, and it feels like all of the big events happen within 10 days. So, as I sadly took down the decorations and put all of my birthday and Christmas cards into a pile, I came up with a great idea to keep these messages of joy and love with me all year- The Card Board! It is a simple concept that I am sure many people have come up with in the past. But, in my mind, it is a stroke of genius! Here is how you do it:
1) Find a big picture frame (mine was from Costco)
2) Cut out any meaningful messages/images from all your cards
3) Make a collage
4) Ta Dah! Put it somewhere that you can see it
5) Feel the love all year long
If anyone else does this, send me a pic! Here is mine.
Happy 2012 Everyone,
Megan
1) Find a big picture frame (mine was from Costco)
2) Cut out any meaningful messages/images from all your cards
3) Make a collage
4) Ta Dah! Put it somewhere that you can see it
5) Feel the love all year long
If anyone else does this, send me a pic! Here is mine.
Happy 2012 Everyone,
Megan
Saturday 31 December 2011
The good, the bad and the ugly- 12 boys in 12 months
It is December 31, 2011 and what better day to reflect back on 2011. I have a lot of amazing things going on in my life, but let's be honest, they are not as funny as my dating life. So, here is to 2011. As my friend Nicole said to me last night, "you had mountain peaks and the lowest of lows". Both are true. And I am grateful for all of it. Every mortifying moment. Every laugh, every tear. Inspired by the current book I am reading, "31 Dates in 31 Days", by Tamara Duricka Johnson, sit back and enjoy my own journey- "12 boys in 12 months".
Greg: The charmer
This was the end, or the beginning. Depends which day you ask me. You will remember him as the guy who charmed the pants off me for over 2 years and one day, while standing in our kitchen, he said, "I think I would be better to you if my heart was in this". There you have it. The moment at the end of March 2011 that brought me to a fork in the road that no 30-something girl wants to be at. Sink or swim? I chose swim. After all, he was one part of my life, not my whole life. And surely, it was happening for a reason, even if I couldn't see it then. The next 2 months were a bit of a blur. But, I figured there must be nice guys out there. So, no stranger to on line dating, i figured I should get back on the horse.
Jason: The Great Wall of China
Jason was my first official date after Greg. And to this day, probably the best. In fact, I just had drinks with him yesterday- but that is another story. For 2 months we tried to get to know each other. The truth is, we were both hurt in the past. And when two people who have walls up start to date, nothing moves very fast. Jason, challenges me, which I love. We both have a quick wit and can talk about anything. However, timing is everything and we just couldn't figure each other out. But, he still makes me laugh, so we have stayed in touch as friends. Which I am grateful for. And between the nice dinners and golfing, we have shared many amazing moments. None of which I regret. So, as things started to fizzle during Stampede, I already had 3 dates lined up.
John: Dog Park Guy
John asked me if I wanted to come over to his house and have wine as our first date. Is he crazy?? I don't want to end up in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney. So, we ended up meeting at the dog park. He decided that my dog needs better training and spent a 1/2 hr yelling at her. Yep, this happened.
Rod: The Name Repeater
Rod was a sweet guy. Probably too sweet. We had plenty in common. Both like running and his family has a place in Tucson like mine. But a girl should never read into these things. So, he suggested a date of mini golf and pool. As soon as I saw him, i knew there was nothing there. Yes- I judged early. It was the wrinkled shirt tucked into Kirkland jeans. Anyway, I tried to enjoy myself but the guy sounded like he was reading from dating cue cards. "What's your favourite colour Meg", "What kinds of movies do you like Meg?", "Hey Meg- good shot". "Wow Meg, you sure are good at mini golf". Poor thing. He gave it a good effort. Luckily I had another date lined up that week, or was it?
Todd: Just Jaded
The best part of this date isn't even that he angrily told me he purchased the watch he was wearing with the money meant for a down payment for a ring for his Ex. The best part was that my Grade 12 Grad Date ended up being our waiter. In some cases this would have been a horrid experience, but luckily Jason saved me with a big glass of wine and small talk so I didn't have to endure the idiot known as Todd. Thanks Jason!
Kevin: The A & W Atheist
I have mixed feelings about this one. Truthfully, he made me feel like a princess. Took me to amazing restaurants and told me how beautiful I was. What girl wouldn't milk it? This girl. Once I found out he believed in NOTHING, it was over for me. I need to be with someone who believes we are all connected some how, some way. I don't care too much about the how, just that you care. So, after a few amazing dates, I ended it. He will be a great catch for someone though! And what he taught me is that I do know what I want and I can see through the fancy car and expensive dinners to what really matters to me. I was proud of myself for this one. It wasn't easy.
Mark: The Renter
Let me start by saying, there is nothing wrong with renting. But, when he found out I owned my own place, he spent 20 mins telling me why renting is better than owning. Next!
Jeff Jeff:
We have to call him Jeff Jeff because I work with two Jeff's and it was getting awkward trying to explain myself and who needs that office gossip! This is doozy!! After 8 years, I got a message from JJ on a site. Saying, "I don't want to creep you out but we know each other. Truth is I wanted to ask you out years ago but you had a boyfriend at the time." So, when I figured out who it was, I was really excited to see him again. And it was realllly good to see him again. We hung out a few times. Then he started to act strange. I am not dumb. I figured he probably had another gal on the go. At that point, given that we had only hung out a few times, I figured it was a nice friendship to rekindle if nothing else. But the he texted me and said, "I just don't see you romantically". Ok. Really? I thought you had avoided all contact because you really liked me. So glad you clarified. Long story short, i tried to forget it happened. We have talked since, but he still has strange behaviour and isn't even a great friend to me. So, my advice to myself is NEXT. And I give really good advice!
Brent: Bi-Polar Brent
I know what I want, no I don't, yes I do, no I don't. Dating Brent was fun and not so fun at the same time. Maybe his bi-polar behaviour is rubbing off on me. Brent is great on paper. And in person, he was close. At first.... We had a 3 hr first date over drinks. Lots of laughs, but I paid- clue #1. Decided on date 2- Screamfest. We had dinner first, this time I offered to pay since he bought the Screamfest tickets, but it was his idea, so I think a great girl would offer and a great guy would say, "my treat". After dinner we went to Screamfest. Which was actually one of the funnest times I have had. I screamed my head off. So did he. I was tired and he knew I had to teach in the morning. But, he insisted on drinks afterwards. So, half asleep I made small talk. As we walked to our cars, he asked, "Do you want to do this again". I say what i always do, "ya, we could figure something out". To which he replies, "I don't want to". Um ok. Could you not have told me that 2 hrs ago and not made me go have drinks with you until 1:30am when i teach in the morning? I replied slightly stunned, "ok- Thanks for the fun night", and got in my car. Then I laughed. Did that just happen? What ever happened to never texting again. Sends the same message, but saves me a few hrs of my time and one SUPER awkward moment. This story ends with a text from him 2 days later saying, "I think I came off wrong the other night, we had fun and I would like to see you again". What I wanted to say was, "No way in hell A^%hole". So I did......ok I was a bit nicer than that.
The Break:
This is when I was exhausted and busy and said if someone asked me out I would go. But was certainly putting little to no effort into finding dates. I figured I had learned enough lessons and got back on the dating train. Mission accomplished. So, brought on the final few dates of 2011...
Stephen: He thinks he is awesome....
I can make this one really quick. Meet up, drink my tea as fast as I can since this guy is creepier than the Saw series. Leave. Delete number from phone. Delete date from memory (after today)!
Pat: What you see isn't what you get
It is always interesting going on blind dates. You do have some idea what they look like. And for the most part, all of these guys slightly resemble their pictures. Except Pat. Pat looked like an above average guy in his pictures. In person, he looked 20 years older. Unfortunately, he wasn't nice or funny either. But he did buy me a latte, and I am always thankful for coffee :)
Nameless: Nameless because some people might know him
Just this week I went out for coffee with a guy who I found out I already knew. It is a small world. He is nice enough. I might go out with him next week again. I don't really have much more to say, other than, online dating is never anonymous, but always entertaining.
Some people reading this are probably wondering , why bother? Well, I wouldn't change a thing. Getting out of a long term relationship isnt easy. I got out there again and got practice. None of these turned into anything close to a relationship. But, had I not dated, I would have missed out on some laughs, good dinners, golf, Screamfest and a lot of other things- including getting great blog material! So, reflecting back, here is my lessons in love from 2011:
- A lot of people do what is easy instead of what is right. So, as my friend Alex would say, "Do what is right, not what is easy".
- Date your equal. I have yet to do this. I always settle for less. But, you can't find your equal without dating. I recently read a quote that said, "Breaking up is a chance to trade up". Something we should all think about!
- Trust the process. Trust that there is reason behind the chaos. When you trust, you can sit back and enjoy the ride. This is why 2011 didn't break me and probably why instead of saying, "I wish this year never happened", I am saying, "I am grateful for all the highs and lows".
- And my final lesson that I pull out when I do hit the lows, is one from my mom, "There is a lid for every pot". Sometimes these little sayings are what pull us up when we are down. Thanks Mom!
To everyone who stood by me this year-- thank you.
Surround yourself with amazing people, and no matter what life throws your way, you will come out on top. I promise!
Happy New Year friends,
Megan
Greg: The charmer
This was the end, or the beginning. Depends which day you ask me. You will remember him as the guy who charmed the pants off me for over 2 years and one day, while standing in our kitchen, he said, "I think I would be better to you if my heart was in this". There you have it. The moment at the end of March 2011 that brought me to a fork in the road that no 30-something girl wants to be at. Sink or swim? I chose swim. After all, he was one part of my life, not my whole life. And surely, it was happening for a reason, even if I couldn't see it then. The next 2 months were a bit of a blur. But, I figured there must be nice guys out there. So, no stranger to on line dating, i figured I should get back on the horse.
Jason: The Great Wall of China
Jason was my first official date after Greg. And to this day, probably the best. In fact, I just had drinks with him yesterday- but that is another story. For 2 months we tried to get to know each other. The truth is, we were both hurt in the past. And when two people who have walls up start to date, nothing moves very fast. Jason, challenges me, which I love. We both have a quick wit and can talk about anything. However, timing is everything and we just couldn't figure each other out. But, he still makes me laugh, so we have stayed in touch as friends. Which I am grateful for. And between the nice dinners and golfing, we have shared many amazing moments. None of which I regret. So, as things started to fizzle during Stampede, I already had 3 dates lined up.
John: Dog Park Guy
John asked me if I wanted to come over to his house and have wine as our first date. Is he crazy?? I don't want to end up in a bathtub of ice missing a kidney. So, we ended up meeting at the dog park. He decided that my dog needs better training and spent a 1/2 hr yelling at her. Yep, this happened.
Rod: The Name Repeater
Rod was a sweet guy. Probably too sweet. We had plenty in common. Both like running and his family has a place in Tucson like mine. But a girl should never read into these things. So, he suggested a date of mini golf and pool. As soon as I saw him, i knew there was nothing there. Yes- I judged early. It was the wrinkled shirt tucked into Kirkland jeans. Anyway, I tried to enjoy myself but the guy sounded like he was reading from dating cue cards. "What's your favourite colour Meg", "What kinds of movies do you like Meg?", "Hey Meg- good shot". "Wow Meg, you sure are good at mini golf". Poor thing. He gave it a good effort. Luckily I had another date lined up that week, or was it?
Todd: Just Jaded
The best part of this date isn't even that he angrily told me he purchased the watch he was wearing with the money meant for a down payment for a ring for his Ex. The best part was that my Grade 12 Grad Date ended up being our waiter. In some cases this would have been a horrid experience, but luckily Jason saved me with a big glass of wine and small talk so I didn't have to endure the idiot known as Todd. Thanks Jason!
Kevin: The A & W Atheist
I have mixed feelings about this one. Truthfully, he made me feel like a princess. Took me to amazing restaurants and told me how beautiful I was. What girl wouldn't milk it? This girl. Once I found out he believed in NOTHING, it was over for me. I need to be with someone who believes we are all connected some how, some way. I don't care too much about the how, just that you care. So, after a few amazing dates, I ended it. He will be a great catch for someone though! And what he taught me is that I do know what I want and I can see through the fancy car and expensive dinners to what really matters to me. I was proud of myself for this one. It wasn't easy.
Mark: The Renter
Let me start by saying, there is nothing wrong with renting. But, when he found out I owned my own place, he spent 20 mins telling me why renting is better than owning. Next!
Jeff Jeff:
We have to call him Jeff Jeff because I work with two Jeff's and it was getting awkward trying to explain myself and who needs that office gossip! This is doozy!! After 8 years, I got a message from JJ on a site. Saying, "I don't want to creep you out but we know each other. Truth is I wanted to ask you out years ago but you had a boyfriend at the time." So, when I figured out who it was, I was really excited to see him again. And it was realllly good to see him again. We hung out a few times. Then he started to act strange. I am not dumb. I figured he probably had another gal on the go. At that point, given that we had only hung out a few times, I figured it was a nice friendship to rekindle if nothing else. But the he texted me and said, "I just don't see you romantically". Ok. Really? I thought you had avoided all contact because you really liked me. So glad you clarified. Long story short, i tried to forget it happened. We have talked since, but he still has strange behaviour and isn't even a great friend to me. So, my advice to myself is NEXT. And I give really good advice!
Brent: Bi-Polar Brent
I know what I want, no I don't, yes I do, no I don't. Dating Brent was fun and not so fun at the same time. Maybe his bi-polar behaviour is rubbing off on me. Brent is great on paper. And in person, he was close. At first.... We had a 3 hr first date over drinks. Lots of laughs, but I paid- clue #1. Decided on date 2- Screamfest. We had dinner first, this time I offered to pay since he bought the Screamfest tickets, but it was his idea, so I think a great girl would offer and a great guy would say, "my treat". After dinner we went to Screamfest. Which was actually one of the funnest times I have had. I screamed my head off. So did he. I was tired and he knew I had to teach in the morning. But, he insisted on drinks afterwards. So, half asleep I made small talk. As we walked to our cars, he asked, "Do you want to do this again". I say what i always do, "ya, we could figure something out". To which he replies, "I don't want to". Um ok. Could you not have told me that 2 hrs ago and not made me go have drinks with you until 1:30am when i teach in the morning? I replied slightly stunned, "ok- Thanks for the fun night", and got in my car. Then I laughed. Did that just happen? What ever happened to never texting again. Sends the same message, but saves me a few hrs of my time and one SUPER awkward moment. This story ends with a text from him 2 days later saying, "I think I came off wrong the other night, we had fun and I would like to see you again". What I wanted to say was, "No way in hell A^%hole". So I did......ok I was a bit nicer than that.
The Break:
This is when I was exhausted and busy and said if someone asked me out I would go. But was certainly putting little to no effort into finding dates. I figured I had learned enough lessons and got back on the dating train. Mission accomplished. So, brought on the final few dates of 2011...
Stephen: He thinks he is awesome....
I can make this one really quick. Meet up, drink my tea as fast as I can since this guy is creepier than the Saw series. Leave. Delete number from phone. Delete date from memory (after today)!
Pat: What you see isn't what you get
It is always interesting going on blind dates. You do have some idea what they look like. And for the most part, all of these guys slightly resemble their pictures. Except Pat. Pat looked like an above average guy in his pictures. In person, he looked 20 years older. Unfortunately, he wasn't nice or funny either. But he did buy me a latte, and I am always thankful for coffee :)
Nameless: Nameless because some people might know him
Just this week I went out for coffee with a guy who I found out I already knew. It is a small world. He is nice enough. I might go out with him next week again. I don't really have much more to say, other than, online dating is never anonymous, but always entertaining.
Some people reading this are probably wondering , why bother? Well, I wouldn't change a thing. Getting out of a long term relationship isnt easy. I got out there again and got practice. None of these turned into anything close to a relationship. But, had I not dated, I would have missed out on some laughs, good dinners, golf, Screamfest and a lot of other things- including getting great blog material! So, reflecting back, here is my lessons in love from 2011:
- A lot of people do what is easy instead of what is right. So, as my friend Alex would say, "Do what is right, not what is easy".
- Date your equal. I have yet to do this. I always settle for less. But, you can't find your equal without dating. I recently read a quote that said, "Breaking up is a chance to trade up". Something we should all think about!
- Trust the process. Trust that there is reason behind the chaos. When you trust, you can sit back and enjoy the ride. This is why 2011 didn't break me and probably why instead of saying, "I wish this year never happened", I am saying, "I am grateful for all the highs and lows".
- And my final lesson that I pull out when I do hit the lows, is one from my mom, "There is a lid for every pot". Sometimes these little sayings are what pull us up when we are down. Thanks Mom!
To everyone who stood by me this year-- thank you.
Surround yourself with amazing people, and no matter what life throws your way, you will come out on top. I promise!
Happy New Year friends,
Megan
Monday 28 November 2011
Too funny not to post- actual messages sent to me
Last and not least, this one will be called---What kind of girl responds to this? And if she does, I hope she kicks you in the...:
A short but oh so sweet post.
Happy Monday Friends!
Sunday 20 November 2011
"Yes Men can realy cook"...Bad spellers and first date no no's!
"Yes Men can realy cook" was the heading on someones profile. I wanted to write him back and say, "That may be true, but you can't spell...which is probably more of an issue for me". We all have our pet peeves I suppose. I can let it slide if you can tell it is a a quick error, because we are all used to spell check. But "really" should be a simple word for a 32 year old. Once again, this isn't even what I wanted to talk about!
So, let's move onto the more entertaining topic, my latest date. This guy chose subject matter that I would only think about maybe bringing up on date 5, 6, 7 or later....10 mins after I met the guy, he says, "So, when was your last relationship?". Really?? Or should I say "realy"?? Can't we talk about work, golfing, our weekends ahead, anything but that? What good can possibly come from talking about this on the first meeting? It is an absolute given that one of the two people with divulge too much from their past causing the other person to feel like a Jr High Guidance Counsellor. In this case that was me. Maybe it is a good thing? You can really see what kind of emotional head space someone is in?! Case in point- he went on for 300, I mean 30 mins or so about how is has been in LOVE 4 times in his life..blah blah blah......I felt like saying, "I would LOVE for you to shut up"...instead I drank my 140 degree tea as fast as I could and claimed I had to go let the dog out.
As I drove home, I started to think about my first date expectations (which by the way are sadly low right now). Here is my list of things that should not be talked about on a first date:
http://calgary.virginradio.ca/blog/adam/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10290735
So, let's move onto the more entertaining topic, my latest date. This guy chose subject matter that I would only think about maybe bringing up on date 5, 6, 7 or later....10 mins after I met the guy, he says, "So, when was your last relationship?". Really?? Or should I say "realy"?? Can't we talk about work, golfing, our weekends ahead, anything but that? What good can possibly come from talking about this on the first meeting? It is an absolute given that one of the two people with divulge too much from their past causing the other person to feel like a Jr High Guidance Counsellor. In this case that was me. Maybe it is a good thing? You can really see what kind of emotional head space someone is in?! Case in point- he went on for 300, I mean 30 mins or so about how is has been in LOVE 4 times in his life..blah blah blah......I felt like saying, "I would LOVE for you to shut up"...instead I drank my 140 degree tea as fast as I could and claimed I had to go let the dog out.
As I drove home, I started to think about my first date expectations (which by the way are sadly low right now). Here is my list of things that should not be talked about on a first date:
- When your last relationship was
- How many long term relationships you have had
- How many of any type of relationships you have had
- Anything to do with bedroom talk (I am being PG)
- How many cats you have (especially if it is more than 1)
- What your ex looked like
- What my ex looked like
- Why neither of us are married
- Why you are more awesome than anyone else on the planet
- Why you hate your job
- Why we should probably just back to your place (yes this has happened)
- Why you hate online dating (trust me, we all do...admitting it doesn't make it better or easier!)
http://calgary.virginradio.ca/blog/adam/blogentry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10290735
Saturday 12 November 2011
Frog, Frog, Frog, Prince?!
It has been two weeks since my last post. In this time I have gone on zero dates. However, I did spend a week in Whistler/Vancouver, and have decided that there are many beautiful men out there- at least in the province over. Maybe it is the same as hair. My hair is straight, so I think curly hair is ideal. I live in Alberta, so BC men are cuter? My cousin in Van will back me up. She confessed to visiting Calgary with her husband and observing that Calgary has a lot of pretty girls hanging with "douche bag" guys. This of course has nothing to do with what I was going to post, but an observation that my many female friends will probably agree with! As I imagine the "typical" Calgary guy she probably saw, I see a Tap Out UFC t-shirt, expensive jeans, spiked hair and an ego bigger than the wheels on his truck. Or perhaps the well dressed, well educated 37 year old who has decided that being single is far better than being less selfish. She may have run into the unfortunately shorter than most women guy, who also owns 3 cats and thinks it is OK to wear Kirkland jeans. Frog, Frog, Frog....Prince! So, the reality is, I live in Alberta. And, now that I have talked about all the frogs out there, I will present to you my most recent list of what I want in a man- the Prince List. To all my single friends (all 2 or 3 of you), you should update yours too! Send it out into the Universe (or the Internet at the very least) and know that for all the Frogs you have dated, somewhere out there, your perfect prince awaits. I can't promise immediate results, you may just meet a few more frogs to test your humour first.
Megan's Prince List (in no particular order)- I am ready for a man who:
Megan's Prince List (in no particular order)- I am ready for a man who:
- knows the importance of family
- has a great group of supportive friends
- is taller than me
- loves animals
- likes his job
- has ambition
- has a hobby that he is passionate about
- has had his heart broken
- wants marriage
- wants a family
- believes love is a choice
- is spiritual if not religious
- loves to travel
- is a good listener
- is selfless and thoughtful
- has a sarcastic sense of humour
- adores me
- is active
- is not afraid to put work into a relationship
- takes accountability for his choices
- shows appreciation and positivity for everything
Monday 31 October 2011
There are more G.I. Joes than Kens....
Happy Halloween!
I will save you all from my rant about "sexy" Halloween costumes this time. But, let me tell you, I could not even find a crayon costume that was tasteful. Sexy crayon?? Seriously? Moving on....I had been asking all the kids I teach ballet to, what they were planning on being for Halloween. I soon noticed an interesting trend- "wedding bride". Is there another kind of bride I am not aware of? Anyway, this "wedding bride" costume was soon becoming the favorite of 2011, at least with the 5-7 year olds. As they proudly told me their costume choices, a sad voice in my head wanted to immediately tell them that the bride costume was a poor choice, but I didn't burst their little bubbles. However, the trend continued when I went to work and met with my VP. She told me her daughter picked out her costume, "Wedding Bride". You don't say....
At this point I felt as if the world should know my feelings of anger for imposing such a romantic fantasy on 5 year olds! So, I asked, "why isn't there a single, 30 year old career woman costume"? To which my VP replied sarcastically", "I didn't see that one". I might be slightly biased, but what 5 year old wouldn't want to be me?!! After asking several questions about how she came up with this costume choice, I did find out that Toys R Us has a large Wedding Barbie and Ken display currently- which explains the popularity of the "Wedding Bride". At this point I was a bit frustrated that this display existed. So, I happen to mention to my VP that perhaps "Groom Ken" should actually be; "Acts like he is 20 Ken", "Bi-Polar Ken", "Alcoholic Ken", "Lives with his Mom Ken", "Work O Holic Ken" or my personal nemesis, "Commitment Phobe Ken". I mean, let's at least make the wedding dream a bit more realistic for these little girls!!
My VP was quick to respond and informed me that those seemed more like G.I Joe traits than Ken traits. Suddenly, years of dating ups and downs became clear...I have never dated a Ken, only G.I Joe after G.I Joe. Proud of my sudden personal growth, I thanked my VP for helping me realize this. She was quick to reassure me not to worry, but added that unfortunately, the G.I Joe selection at Toys R Us is much bigger than the Ken selection. Well, that explains a few things!
To think, after all these years, all I need to know in life I could have learned at Toys R Us. Who knew?!
I will save you all from my rant about "sexy" Halloween costumes this time. But, let me tell you, I could not even find a crayon costume that was tasteful. Sexy crayon?? Seriously? Moving on....I had been asking all the kids I teach ballet to, what they were planning on being for Halloween. I soon noticed an interesting trend- "wedding bride". Is there another kind of bride I am not aware of? Anyway, this "wedding bride" costume was soon becoming the favorite of 2011, at least with the 5-7 year olds. As they proudly told me their costume choices, a sad voice in my head wanted to immediately tell them that the bride costume was a poor choice, but I didn't burst their little bubbles. However, the trend continued when I went to work and met with my VP. She told me her daughter picked out her costume, "Wedding Bride". You don't say....
At this point I felt as if the world should know my feelings of anger for imposing such a romantic fantasy on 5 year olds! So, I asked, "why isn't there a single, 30 year old career woman costume"? To which my VP replied sarcastically", "I didn't see that one". I might be slightly biased, but what 5 year old wouldn't want to be me?!! After asking several questions about how she came up with this costume choice, I did find out that Toys R Us has a large Wedding Barbie and Ken display currently- which explains the popularity of the "Wedding Bride". At this point I was a bit frustrated that this display existed. So, I happen to mention to my VP that perhaps "Groom Ken" should actually be; "Acts like he is 20 Ken", "Bi-Polar Ken", "Alcoholic Ken", "Lives with his Mom Ken", "Work O Holic Ken" or my personal nemesis, "Commitment Phobe Ken". I mean, let's at least make the wedding dream a bit more realistic for these little girls!!
My VP was quick to respond and informed me that those seemed more like G.I Joe traits than Ken traits. Suddenly, years of dating ups and downs became clear...I have never dated a Ken, only G.I Joe after G.I Joe. Proud of my sudden personal growth, I thanked my VP for helping me realize this. She was quick to reassure me not to worry, but added that unfortunately, the G.I Joe selection at Toys R Us is much bigger than the Ken selection. Well, that explains a few things!
To think, after all these years, all I need to know in life I could have learned at Toys R Us. Who knew?!
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